Pole Dancing For Little Girls: A Boring Dystopian Hell

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to see kids on a stripper pole. Is that too much to wish for?

Yen Lo
4 min readJan 31, 2024

I remember the very first time I went to the strip club. I was about 18 years of age and me and my friends needed to find a place to smoke cigarettes.

Yeah, really. I mean, I’d always been fascinated by the strip club — at least ever since that consent was manufactured with movies like Showgirls and Striptease becoming pop culture phenomena when I was a kid. I honestly don’t think I would have ever been intrigued had I stayed in my little Banana Republic. Still, I was hooked.

Demi Moore and Elizabeth Berkley made stripping look empowering, sexy, sensual, and glamorous. I know Showgirls wasn’t going for that, but that’s what my little teenaged brain got from it. That’s why, when we found a strip club not too far from our base, we jumped at the chance. I mean, what kind of military leadership is going to get caught at the same strip club their enlisted peons are smoking, drinking, and buying lap dances at? I called it leverage if they showed up. Luckily, they did not.

So, we smoked and had a good time. We started going to the strip club — my guy friends and me and my girlfriends — for fun, not just to hide and smoke cigarettes. We became fans of certain dancers and I eagerly paid for lap dances from my favorites.

I’m as straight as they come, mind you. I just wanted to learn up close and personal. I wanted to know how to do what they were doing so I could use it in my relationships. I also really had a good time. The girls were fun, talkative, relatable… It was like dancing with a homegirl.

The girls dance on you differently when you’re a girl. There’s more trust, I think, and they’re more relaxed. For my 19th birthday, I talked to my dancer while I got my birthday lap dance. She apologized for not shaving her legs, and I told her I could totally relate.

Hell, the strip club introduced me to Ozzy Osbourne and a level of Southern Americana I’d never witnessed up close and personal before…

The thing is, though, I was grown — well, grown enough to be in the military and I was living very grown because I was also married. I don’t associate the strip club with anything juvenile. There’s nothing wholesome about it and despite the historical origins of pole dancing, the women teaching these Mommy (with terrible judgment) and Me classes are well aware that this won’t be seen in that way and why would it be? It’s a patriarchy that has only become more pornified, with rape culture tagging along for the ride. Taylor Swift isn’t even safe. What makes you think your daughters are?

There’s a segment of women who really have fallen to patriarchy and rather than teach their daughters to be revolutionary in their feminism, they teach them to be vulnerable, ingratiating themselves into this ever more destructive patriarchy we have yet to address because not every woman wants patriarchy to end. There’s a segment of mothers who live quite comfortably within patriarchy, despite the damage it has wrought upon them, and have no intention of changing the world for their daughters for the better. They cannot possibly imagine fighting back, so they bow.

I’m personally over not being judgmental. Too many transgender and cisgender women and girls (not to mention our non-binary kinfolk) are in constant danger of violence, not to mention the regression we are going to face as the country slips further into the shitter. Instead of parents (because we’re dragging shitty fathers, too) teaching their daughters to be everything the patriarchy finds threatening and uncomfortably frightening, they teach them to become nothing but another cog, “another brick in the wall,” that falls on other women and girls or remains insurmountable.

This looks like a great workout. I’m not really seeing the level of physicality that I see with the traditional pole dancing as created in India, however, and quite frankly, I don’t want to see little girls doing the things the strippers I used to see do at all. Like, at all…

“You’re overreacting! It’s just a good workout. You’re reading too much into it.”

You’re not? Taylor Swift has been chilling minding her *problematic* business, and some male malcontent still found a way to use her image to depict her being gangraped — and enjoying it. Is this really the content you want out there of your child? There should be no predators preying on our babies, I get that. They are, though.

It’s a good workout? So is boxing, kickboxing, Muay Thai, Tae Kwon Do, etc. Your daughter is at risk of violence. Teacher her to fight her way out of a dangerous situation — and win. She can’t dance or work her way out of physical danger on the pole.

The internet is forever. Do not fuck around for clout and have your child out here on 4Chan, Reddit, or P*rnHub (also known as Child Trafficking Hub). I cannot believe some folks don’t understand that we are still fighting for our liberation and freedom in a patriarchy. Our transgender sisters and brothers can tell you that. What’s not making sense?

I’m tired. Take your daughters to the gun range or to archery. Take your daughters to martial arts classes. Teach your daughters that there is more to life than…

Whatever the hell this is.



Yen Lo

Not concerned with propriety. Liberation now. Contrarian by design. Black mother. Somebody’s daughter. Guerrilla in the mist. Imperfect Christian.